Diana (retrophoto) wrote in generationzen,


After moving cross country, I'm still playing catch up on bills and such, but my life is feeling a bit more settled, and with that comes the old familiar territory. You know, that self-indulgent step up on Maslow's hierarchy, where we go beyond worrying about food and shelter to being angst ridden yuppie brats trying to find god or meaning or whatever in every minor detail. That cerebral equivalent of a hamster on a wheel -- "whats the meaning of it all?" and "what's my calling in life?" kind of questions that should serve to help us refine the process of fulfilling our "destiny," but usually end up being a mire of self-doubt and second guessing that paralyzes us.

At least me.

Anyway, I was sort of feeling that again already, compounded by an online friend's recent decision to close the doors on a dream of his. Yes, he failed, but the fact that he took his shot was (is) getting under my skin. It didn't work, but at least he took ACTION.

So I'm wandering through a used book store Sunday and pick up a couple of veggie cookbooks, and a used Chuck Palahnuik novel. As I'm leaving, something catches my eye on the stands outside. It's an audio of a book called "What Should I Do with My Life?" Well, that certainly mirrored the question kicking around in the back of my brain. But it was audio cassettes and that would mean getting a tape player, so I didn't want to be bothered, but I couldn't seem to walk away. It kept niggling at me to pick it up. I still didn't want to get a damn casstte recorder, so I went back in to find a text copy.

Okay, so I go home and later that night, I pick up the "What Should I Do with My Life?" book and start reading the first of the anecdotes of real people who "found their true calling," for lack of a better term. It starts talking about a guy renting a room at the base of Camelback Mountain (ah, Phoenix, how funny...) who gets a letter from the Dalai Lama telling him he's some reincarnation of a high lama.

Hmm. Phoenix and buddhism right at the start. What a coincidence.

Then as I 'm reading and turn the page, the photo looks familiar, so I go to a website to confirm my suspicions. Back a couple of years ago when I first got a serious interest in Buddhism, I had looked up centers in the Phoenix area. This was long before I had heard of Garchen Rinpoche or set foot in any center. I found a foundation in Scottsdale called the Emaho Foundation and it seemed to be the largest group -- or at least the most active -- in the valley. So I've been subscribing to their email list for a couple of years. I had been thinking of checking it out, as Rinpoche's center in Chino Valley is a bit of a drive. Well, as should be obvious by now, the man in the first story in this book is ZaChoeje Rinpoche, the founder of Emaho.

One of the many things I have kicked around as a calling is global healthcare (with a healthy helping of documentary photography on the side) and looking at the Emaho site again, I see they are active in healthcare centers in India. Well, that's cool and has potential. They also contribute directly to an organization here in the valley for the homeless. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Garchen Institute and they do special projects such as a school in Tibet, but it's nice to see group doing something a little closer to home.

Mere coincidence? Or synchronicity? I'm not sure. But even my skeptical little heart is feeling that weird kind of tug that maybe destiny is trying to find me, or maybe it's been stalking me for years and I just haven't seen it. I guess I'm going to have to check out Emaho.
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